Progress

When am I gonna feel better, oh i have been patient for a long time now.  I've been impatient for a long time now.  I've been the patient for a long time now… and I will never be a younger man.

Oh what am I waiting for? A spell to be cast or for it to be broken?

-Typhoon

Why is blogging so hard for me to do?  You see, I've had ideas in my head for blog posts.  I've even typed a few out.  But i don't post them.  I think, maybe I'll wait until I have more content.  More to say.  And by then the posts I made seem irrelevant.  So, sorry for the lack of updates.  

Here's a post I never published:

I've been trying to figure out why.  Why now, am I ready?  Why have I never been able to do this before?  One day in February, I decided it's time. Time for change. I've been thinking about my reasons. I can't pin it down to just one that brought this about. That suddenly it seemed reachable, doable.  

I have a friend who lost quite a bit of weight and when asked why, she said, "I was turning 40 and I decided I didn't want to be this way when that happened."  That's been rolling around my head like a little marble ever since.

Also my sister in law moved to Hawaii.  I've never been too interested in going to Hawaii. I'm more of a rainy, cold place with castles girl. But the last few years I've been thinking I'd probably like to go to Hawaii. But if I booked a trip I'd wish to lose some pound before going there. I'd wish to feel ok about being in a bathing suit before going there. The last time I felt good about being in a bathing suit I was probably 6.  Isn't it terrible to limit yourself based on your body image though! Welcome to being a girl i guess.

Also my stomach never felt good. I always felt bloated and uncomfortable. I always grew a "food baby" after I ate. Those are a few reasons I can think of.

So I started running. And i started eating better. I stopped drinking pepsi. I cut way down on sugar and gluten and dairy. I no longer have a food baby! My stomach is much happier. 

Weight loss has been interesting.  For a while, my clothes fit better although my measurements stayed the same.  Weight loss for me means I have to tighten the drawstring in my sweatpants. (You know you've lost weight when you're carrying a laundry basket up the stairs and your pants fall down half way up.)

I lost 15 pounds over 3 months.  That felt agonizingly slow but hopefully that will mean i can keep it off for good. I'm ok with that.  Then June & July have slowly given way to another 5 pounds.  So I've lost nearly 20 pounds total.  That feels great.  I have these milestones in my head and apparently they translate physically through my body because once i reach one (5 pounds, 10 pounds, 15 pounds) i stay there for a while. I stayed at 15 pounds the entire month of June. Sometimes I get frustrated with the slowness of the process, but then I realize this isn't a race and I'm not in it for the numbers anyway.  I'm in it for how I feel, and I feel great.

I never (EVER) thought I'd say it but changing the way i eat has been way easier and more automatic than changing how i exercise. I hope one day that will become automatic too.  But apparently I am way better at NOT doing things than I am at doing things.

Started with running, but please reference the blog's name regarding "if you see me running..."  Running is hard.  I haven't kept up with it.  But that's not to say I've done nothing!   I've yet to find a regular routine, I'm working on it.

In June i rode my bike a lot. My friend Heidi, who has MS and who is awesome, was participating in the bike MS ride (40 miles) and she asked me to go on a bike ride with her one day to help her train. I thought i can probably do that since I've been running and built up some lung strength. So we rode 18 miles one day. Wow that kicked my butt. But the next time we rode 26 miles.  And I woke up early one day and rode my bike out to Antelope Island (post hopefully to follow on that one).

The week my kids had rock climbing camp we rode our bikes through Ogden for 4 hours a couple days and I took a yoga class. The 2 weeks the kids were in swimming lessons, I used the weight room every day.  That was awesome.  There's just something about a weight room that makes you feel like a badass.  When you walk over to that bar and free weights and start doing squats and bicep curls...  I think that might be my favorite.  I gained a couple pounds that week but I couldn't be happier about it because it was pure muscle.  Bad.  Ass.

It's easier to be lazy when we're all home doing nothing.  It's odd how exercise makes you just feel so much better but i still have to talk myself into it. 

Did i tell you how cool it was to try on those jeans that have been hanging in my closet since before i had kids 10 years ago? I had 3 or 4 pairs of pants tucked way in the back and i can get them on now. And even zip them up! A couple of pairs i can let go of now because i got them on and they're terribly out of fashion. But i will happily let them go. I haven't bought too many new clothes yet. I'm waiting until i get where i want to be. But i bought a bathing suit gasp! And you know what, happiness is trying on a bathing suit and thinking, that's not half bad!